1995 Austin Huns UK Tour

After the Melrose match, in Melrose, Scotland

Standing (left to right): Tim Carlson, Brent Zipoy, Clint DeWitt, Ralph Guerro, Brian Bearry, Lance Cornwell, Matt Williams, Mitch Caroll, Garry Davidson, Hunter Hinson, Brian Shoemaker, Carl Dahlberg, John Banks, Jack Bloom, David Pelton.
Kneeling: Dan Lange, David Acuna, Art Acuna (Bending Over), Joe Weis, Matt Hull, Jon Grimley, Thierry Dubois, Bill Bartok.

We flew into London, and were immediately told that there was a good chance that we wouldn't even get to play our first match, as the day before they experienced a hard freeze, and the pitch was supposedly frozen. We were slated to play Marlow RFC, for our first match, and would have to wait until the next morning, the day of the match, to find out if we would actually play or not. Fortunately, the next morning, we were informed that we would in fact play the match, that evening at 7:30.

The guys at Twickenham

Thick fog rolled in about 10 minutes after the match started

The final score of the Marlow game was 29-10.

The ensuing dinner and celebration was by no means dimmed by our outing on the Rugby pitch. We easily won the party and then were taken back to our hotel, in Picadilly Circus, where we were set free to embark on an evening of un-adulterated mischief. I'd give a report on that evening, except for that I don't really remember any of it.

The next day, we left for Edinburgh, Scotland at 8am in the morning. There were a few stragglers however, that slowed us down a bit. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't the Acuna brothers though. Instead, John "Silver Back" Banks and Hunter "Highlander" Hinson, were the guilty party. Hunter, was found on the 8th floor in a room with a member of the female persuasion, while Banks, was just passed out.

The trip to Edinburgh was a long one...8 hours to be exact. For the most part, everyone slept pretty much the entire way. We did eventually make a beer run once we got into Scotland, which seemed to wake everyone up. It was that trip that coined the phrase "If you're not stinkin and drinkin, you're not in the back of the bus!" I think that pretty much is self explanatory. We arrived at the Cairn Hotel at approximately 7pm and unpacked.

That night, we found out what luxury really was in the UK, as we actually had our own bathrooms in each individuals room....showers also... The accommodations would have to wait though as we were eager to get out and explore the pub's. That first night in Edinburgh due to limited time, we didn't venture off very far and actually found that the Cairn Hotel Bar was about the best place to be... That night, we pretty much sang until sunrise with very little resistance from the inn keepers, due to the pounds that were being laid on the bar. We must have sang David Allen Coe's _Darlin_ and Jerry Jeff Walker's _Redneck Mother_ about 10 times a piece... they were the only songs we could seem to remember...

The Cairn Hotel

We had the next day free for sight-seeing, which most of us used to head up to Edinburgh Castle... coming from Texas, most of us were quite un-accustomed to the cold weather, especially atop the walls of the Castle. The Castle was pretty impressive, as was the Cathedral, down the street from the castle. However, the feature that seemed to grab our attention that day was the whiskey distilleries that were close to the castle. They seem to help us forget that it was 20 degree's outside... After seeing the castle and sightseeing around Edinburgh, about half of us gathered back at the hotel, in order to depart to Perth to watch an international match between Scotland and Italy. For most of us, it was the first International we had been to. Scotland won the game, and as we noticed in the game program, several of Scotland's players were affiliated with Melrose, our opponent in Scotland. That night, again we hit the town and found a "Rugby" bar. This place was more than Nasty's... it had hard wood floors and the pictures on the walls actually had frames. Furthermore, they were hung on the wall with premeditated organization, rather than with tacks. I wish I could remember the name of the place... The ruggers that were there simply laughed when we told them we were playing Melrose the next day.

The next day, after breakfast/lunch/whattimewasitwhenwegotup?, we departed for Melrose. It was a great day for Rugby... 30 degree's, clear, and not very windy... Driving into the Melrose Rugby Complex, we noticed several boy's teams practicing Rugby... 8 years old... Max! That was pretty cool, watching 8 year olds that played better fundamental rugby than we did...

The facilities were very nice at Melrose as was the setting. We were originally supposed to play Melrose's third side that day and I think the game started off that way, however after halftime the play of Melrose was far above what we were capable of on that day. Weather was great for playing... about 35 degree's and sunny. Standing on the sideline was a different story. We opened the game well and played a solid first half, with a special thanks going out to our Frenchman, Thierry Dubois, who frequently made sprinting stops from long range on Melrose runners. They were much bigger than us in the forwards and definitely capitalized upon our inexperience as a squad, often making long gains on ball handling miscues. We were able to manage getting out of the first half only down by 7, as the score was 10-3 in favor of Melrose at half time. The Huns only score of the half came from fullback, Jon Grimley, on a penalty kick.

In the second half, Melrose changed some faces and put on something of a Rugby demonstration at the expense of the beleaguered Huns... Scoring often, Melrose ran up the score on us by the score of 53-6 by the end of regulation mostly due to an "ageing" fly half who they brought in at halftime. I say ageing because that is the way he was described to us after the match... I can't remember his name but he was a former 1st side player who had been capped and was now a coach for Melrose's 2nd side.

Scrumhalf David Acuna, places the ball into the scrum against Melrose

Melrose, had a very nice facility, complete with trainers and a cleaning staff... if that sounds as though we were in awe, it's because we were. When you consider our bank account complete with NSF charges and the rock we usually play on (called Zilker Park), anything short of a leanto next to a grass field would be an improvement. The match was fun to be part of simply because the kids at the end of the pitch that were mocking us, couldn't come in the club house for beers as they were too young.

We had dinner, beers, and exchanged pleasantries, with our Scottish hosts and then got back on the bus for the trip back to the Hotel in Edinburgh, after dropping about a thousand pounds in the Club Gift Shop on Melrose RFC merchandise.

Immediately upon arriving at the Hotel, we decided that we were going to drop our kits and hit the streets again to explore the streets of Edinburgh. In addition, we found out that the Green Bay Packers vs. Dallas Cowboys, NFL playoff game was going to be shown on TV that night. We couldn't believe it. Jack Bloom (our resident Green Bay Packers fan) boasted the entire trip about how the Packers were going to kill the Cowboys and watching even a highlight reel of the game (which is what it was) was a treat we never would've imagined. I called around town looking for a bar that was going to be carrying the game and then headed out for some curry and beers... as did the rest of the guys.

I can't remember the name of the pub that we went to, to see the NFL game but it was something like the Boars Head Pub. Most everyone that was on tour with us showed up at the little pub that night and the bar-keep had a blast... especially since we were buying up a steady flow of beer. The Cowboys went on to defeat the Packers... it wasn't even close and Jack had to put up with a steady flow of jabs to go with his beers. We set out to find more bars and then eventually made it back to the Hotel where we again got comfortable at the Inn pub. It was again a long night preceding a long bus ride so we made it worthwhile.

The next day we loaded up the bus and departed for Sutton Coldfield, in the midlands of England. It was again, a long bus trip, however we prepared better for the trip by purchasing our alcohol before we left. And, we took it upon ourselves to hold our first Kangaroo Court.... sorry, the specifics of that event will be held private to those that were there. We also said good-bye to Thierry, who had to leave for France for a job interview.... if he knew what was ahead of him he never would've left the tour (in retrospect, he got the job so I guess it was a good move after all). Two others, Joe Scuba and Dan Lange, decided to part for a short excursion to Amsterdam instead of finishing the tour with us. We arrived at Sutton Coldfield early that evening and went directly to the Sutton Coldfield RFC clubhouse. This was again, a really nice facility and we were in for a great stay as Sutton Coldfield was actually hosting us for this part of the tour. We met our hosts at the clubhouse and then departed with them to unpack at our billets. I was fortunately able to arrange the billets myself and chose to stay with the guy that owned the Pub that the team partied at.... It's good to be the king...

We arrived at the bar and unpacked in Nick's flat upstairs. It was a pretty nice place and just about everyone from the club was there to greet us. The band that was playing that night, a 3-piece Irish Folk band also recognized our presence and offered their services to us by which we requested Jerry Jeff Walker... they had never heard of Jerry Jeff, so they played American Pie instead... all 50-something verses... they eventually allowed me to sing Jerry Jeff but I was pretty whiskied and missed the last two verses of the song... oh well, we got it right in Scotland.

One of the great things about having a pub owner on your rugby team is that it brings certain priviledges that others individuals outside the rugby team, just don't have. Fortunately, for us, Nick got incredibly wasted and decided to allow the bar to stay open way past hours. What's more, is that shortly after closing Nick ripped the juke box off the wall and then promptly passed out on the bar. Somewhere along the line, we agreed to play our match the following night rather than two nights later as we had previously scheduled. Many indecencies were performed that night and I'll never know how I made it back up the stairs to the flat later the following morning. Drinking games, pranks, wrestling contests (girls included... oh yes... there were some there) and singing went on until early the next morning.

The next day we traveled to Birmingham and checked out the city prior to our match later that evening. We were transported back to the clubhouse at about 4pm that day for a 5:30 match. Until that point, the weather had been great... cold but clear... when we arrived at the clubhouse it began to rain, heavily.

Captain, John "Silverback" Banks has a laugh prior to the match with the Sutton Coldfield captain and the referee

The game started right at 5:30 and the rain was coming down sideways, anchored by a 25 mile an hour wind. We matched up nicely to Sutton Coldfield in the forwards however, our backs were depleted due to Thierry Dubois, Graham Watson, and Dan Lange, leaving the tour early. We were forced to patch together a backline. We lost the game by about three tries but I can't remember the score. Moreover, I don't think anyone knew the score after the game was over... no one seemed to care. The lights on the far side of the pitch went out about 15 minutes into the match from the heavy wind and rain and visibility was low... not to mention, we were running in about 5 inches of water... it was a pretty sloppy match but there was scoring on both sides. The match gave us an opportunity to try out a new lineout call that was actually developed on the bus trip down to Sutton Coldfield. The call was the ACUNA. We weren't going to run it unless we were down by a bunch or if the game was just out of hand which, due to the weather, it was. The ACUNA, in honor of the vertically challenged Acuna brothers was intended to allow fly half Art Acuna to win his first lineout EVER! The forwards would go down on their knees as soon as the call was made and then the hooker, throwing the ball in, would purposely overthrow the entire line of forwards and send an "Aggie-bounce-pass" to a charging Art Acuna. IT WORKED!!!, mainly due to Sutton Coldfield's forwards agreeing to go down on their knees also. It made no sense but we scored off of it from about 20 meters and the game ended about 5 minutes later.

We showered and headed upstairs for the post game celebration. I do not envy the people in charge of cleaning up the showers. Anyway, we had a really nice dinner and were given a nice warm welcome by the Sutton Coldfield administration as well as the club. We drank yards of beer and pranks continued as each team traded shots. Probably one of the best was the simple game of "Spoons" whereby Thierry's friend Jean, was selected to be the Huns representative and never picked up on the prank. We drank there for most of the night before heading back to the pub. The next day was open for sightseeing. Seeing as how it was our last day in England, we headed down to where it all started, Rugby. There wasn't a bunch to see but what they had was enjoyed by all. We went to the Rugby museum and also to the college where it all started. After a couple hours in Rugby, we ventured to Warwick Castle and toured the castle.

That night was of course, our last night in England and we decided that we weren't going to sleep as we had to leave the next morning for Heathrow, at 4am. The Sutton Coldfield guys, once again, did a great job hosting us by hanging out with us that last night at the bar and adding in to our Kangaroo Court. This was the final one and David Pelton, our tour "mother", had gone to London, separately that day to pick up a Parliament Wig, for a paltry 350 pounds... he insists, that there was another purpose for it but to this day he hasn't lived that down. I was awarded with two pints of MadDog 20/20 and a kilt for arranging the tour.... there was a catch though. I had to wear the kilt from that point, until we were back at DFW Airport in Dallas, Texas. I was game but after I was told of my feat, it was brought to my attention that this kilt, was a womans kilt which is longer than the mens kilts... it was also baby blue... the MadDog, of course, had to be downed on the spot. We stayed up until 4 as planned and then boarded the bus and said farewell to the Sutton Coldfield ruggers.

The trip back was a long one and painful one as most everyone was hurting from the 10 previous days of rugby, drinking, and mayhem. A hearty thank you to all of our hosts in the UK! We'll be back soon!

Last Modified: 10/16/03